With another scholastic term at a close, I thought it would be fitting to bookend a couple of subjects I have addressed during this last semester:

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In reference to my unfortunate kleptomania of t-shirts, moving out of the dorm was especially difficult. With everyone’s belongings lining the halls of my residence, I somehow managed to restrain myself from perusing the assortment of clothes. Unbelievably, I even managed to get rid of a few t-shirts of my own in my annual Summer closet purge. There is hope for me yet.

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In reference to the upcoming Star Trek film, I have not seen it yet. I’m certain I will soon.

Whether you are planning to visit the theater or not, this is amusing.

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In reference to the ant pandemonium, an acquaintance of mine who is, shall we say, more in tune with the natural world than yours truly decided to give me a paper ant named Gloria as a companion. Soon after Immediately after, Gloria met a fiery end in a bowl of lighter fluid in our kitchen. We left the smoldering paper corpse of Gloria the Ant on the counter overnight and, I kid you not, the ants were gone the next day. Completely. Gone.

In America, ladies and gents, that is known as voodoo.

But wait—there’s more. We left the charred, Glorious heap in the bowl for several more days, still completely without ants. However, with an imminent move from the dormitory, we found ourselves in need of cleaning the kitchen, so Gloria had to go.

And they returned. The. Next. Day.

I resign that ants are evil, arcane creatures intensely connected to some metaphysical plane. And it was with happy heart that I left them behind.

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And so, I turn the page. Let the Summer begin.